“Masculine toughness is often another word for emotional weakness.” – Master B.K. Frantzis
What is the purpose of an emotion?
I know it’s a strange question to ask on a Monday morning, but asking strange questions is kind of our thing here.
And a shocking amount of internal development waits on the other side of your answer.
So, what do you think?
Are those pesky, uncomfortable feelings of ours just bugs in the evolutionary system?
Or, do they have a purpose…
To find out, let’s rewind the tape several millennia, back to our chimpanzee days.
aka. the good old days:
Swinging from trees, eating bananas, heckling those stupid land animals, and running in terrified fear whenever a lion decided to retaliate.
Ah, terrified fear…
What an inconvenience.
It’s all cold and prickly and annoying.
It interrupts my important tree-swinging, banana-eating schedule by making me bolt upright and run for my life every time something as silly as a murderous lion butts his head into my business.
I don’t like it, I don’t like it one bit.
Okay, fast forward back to humanity.
We’re less hairy, more sheltered, and slightly more civilized.
But emotionally, we haven’t evolved much, have we?
We still see our emotions as unwelcome guests that disturb our carefully-cultivated comfort.
And yet, if those emotions didn’t exist…
Neither would we.
Yes, that terrified fear is what kept our monkey ancestors alive.
And, as we evolved…
Emotions like guilt prevented bad behaviour, which allowed us to function in groups.
Emotions like sadness helped us value those close to us, and bonded us together as a species.
Emotions like happiness showed us what to want, and what to avoid.
And the list goes on.
So in case you’re not tired of hearing me say it:
Nature doesn’t make mistakes.
There is no such thing as a “bad” emotion, only poor reactions to emotions.
Emotions are only energy and information, after all:
They give us energy to deal with what’s happening (ie. that pesky lion is chasing me).
And information that updates our behaviour for next time (ie. don’t throw bananas at lions).
So the next time you find yourself grumbling about:
The guilt that’s been nagging you…
(it’s trying to show you what not to do)
The frustration that’s been pestering you…
(it’s trying to motivate you to solve the problem you’ve been avoiding)
The anger that’s got you fuming…
(it’s trying to build your personal boundaries and make you stronger)
The fear that’s got you all freaked out…
(you get my point)
…Stop. Unclench. Breathe.
Then:
Relax your body (so the emotional energy can move smoothly).
And listen (ie. actually feel your feelings) so you can hear the message your emotions are trying to send you.
Remember:
There are no mistakes, in this game.
Only unskilled players.
And emotional mastery is one skill we cannot overlook, if we want to play at the highest level.
– T
