Over the years I have heard many first hand stories about how difficult it can be to have a narcissistic mother.
I sometimes wonder how children with narcissistic mothers are able to cope with stress and stain these toxic mothers inflict on them.
My former boss complained about the viciousness of his narcissistic mother in a way that made me believe she haunted him from her grave.
Despite the fact by the time I started working for my boss, he had not seen for her years as she had long since past away.
Nonetheless, the way he described her influence over him, I was reminded of the movie Amadeus.
In Amadeus, Mozart’s father appeared to have an excessive amount of influence over Mozart even though Mozart had family and life of his own, his father haunted him.
Although Mozart dealt with a father he could never please, it is my understanding that narcissist mothers are apt to often have an even more negative influence on their children.
Common Characteristics Of Narcissistic Mothers
Based on what I know about narcissistic mothers, I think the following characteristics and/or behaviors are particularly insidious.
she demeans, criticizes, undermines, and belittles her children
she is envious and competes with her own children (particularly her daughters)
she creates Catch 22s/double binds
she plays favorites often choosing sons over daughters for special treatment
she, at times, treats her daughter as if she were her mother’s mother
she does mean-spirited things that are deniable
she does not want her children to be independent; therefore, she intentionally “hamstrings” her children
she intervened and/or destroys her children’s interpersonal relationships (if friend encourages a son or daughter to be independent, that friend is vilified)
she employs divide and conquer games with her children
she does not trust her children and treat them as if they pose a threat to her
